let’s all play
the game of LIFE!
The classic Hasbro
game of LIFE!
BUT with rules updated
for our age
since LIFE has since significantly changed
RULE 1
the cars are now colored
white yellow black brown –
leaving everyone out
weighs everything down! –
and anyone can choose
college or not,
but the white cars must wait
five turns at the start
RULE 2
Your career is determined
By the cards that you pull
with thousands of choices –
be it tech, fed, or school –
but, the higher your gross,
the more you must pay
since less-fortunate earners
need it to brighten their day.
RULE 3
when wedding your mate,
be it man, dog, or lamp,
remember that monogamy
makes marriage damp –
it’s better to sleep around
then go once-and-done;
though it’s worth less in the end
you’ll have way more fast fun.
RULE 4
your degree is worth shit
so why buy a house?
you’ll never quite settle
for kids or a spouse –
invest in a camper
since you love the road
and aeroplane tickets
to lighten life’s load!
RULE 5
when you retire
you’ll haven’t a dime
not spent on drugs
or wastes of your time –
the dirt is your home
and the pitch-black expanse
your one claim in LIFE
and your long-hoped advance.
let’s all play
the game of LIFE!
the new, progressive
game of LIFE!
it may not sound fun,
and you may have no chance,
but come! join the dance,
and we’ll make you feel good
being part of our group
where you can quit at your call
since LIFE’s just one pointless cruel game
after all.
Morning's Early Dark 