151. You Know Me

They tell me I can be what I want
Not who I was born as or am,
So I tell you now, just as forewarning,
To know it all beforehand.
You call me boy, but that’s not I;
Last time I checked, I’m a man.
I ain’t no dude, what is that even?
We’re not related, so I can’t be your fam
Or your bro, or bruv, or whatever.
And am I your friend? Oh, no, not I;
Not your pal, your bud, your chum.
And I’m no chap in the heat of May
Or dead cold December.
You can guess that I’m American,
But any halfwit knows that score –
My name is Connor, get it right,
Since I’m none you’ve met before.