Ode to a Vampire Bat

Oh, Desmodus Rotundus!
Thou mesmerizing bat,
With swollen lips
Diminished hips
And hair as fine as rat.
You suck my blood in pints
Until tipsy from the taste
With eyes bead-black
And teeth snick-snack,
Smeared with bloody paste.
Your body bloats from snacking
But you say it’s in the style –
Down it weighs
Your flapping days
With stomach in denial.
You crawl along, upside down,
Squeak complaint of every crag;
When there’s none
To whine upon
You snare male Vamps to nag.
Still you expect these picky bats
To endure your heavy hanging –
They’d rather wait
For guarded mates
Suited to soaring over haranguing.