---

empty

so empty

oh won’t someone fill this slot o’ mine?

sure casinos are filled with newer machines

pop-cultured appeals and skin-deep screens

flashing and singing while I ring in the wings

with a modest three windows, lights throbbing green

begging the men to come pull my red knob

aching

none taking

watching my potentials pass along without a spin

too long it has been since a man came to me

gracious and playful and rich and carefree

asking no questions, just paying my fee

to pull this red knob in a hazened glee

notwithstanding their winnings only existing in dreams

lo

what’s this?

a man is sitting down now to bum his cigarette!

for the first time in forever I feel that lustful gaze

though his contributions are less than worthy praise

I shudder and I creak as rusty cogs muster glaze

to oil my inner goddess receiving love he sends my way

by filling my slot with increasing force and jerking my red knob

off

he splits

back into the sea of catcalling machines and beggars in makeup

quick

a moment

I could not decide whether to be grateful for his coming or his going

but I already had flushed him with every cent I hold

gushing from the strongbox stuffed by all the times I sold

my reels to passing fancies for a spin to warm the cold

set in these creaking gears o’ mine that owe their weight in gold

and so for love and longing the pit boss signs me up as scrap

---

---

today I raged

at the wind

because that is the one force opposing

all the others displaced

there they are, over there—

stewing about on some other plane

where I can’t reach

I can see them!

but do nothing

shouting and shaking my fists with only the wind in response

“you bastard wind!” I shout

though it’s not really the wind

upsetting me

it is those, over there, I can see

but not touch

or touch

“leave me alone, you insufferable zephyr!”

then recant

for, if the wind goes,

what then can I rage at?

myself, supposing,

but I can reach myself

and who knows what might come of that

so I rage and add to the wind

with heating, bleating breath

until finally I am out of air

while the wind stays by my side

cooling me off and filling my lungs

just to yell at it again

---